Grammar Rant

There are innumerable clichés in football – as cliché seems to give a negative connotation I would even go so far as to call some of them maxims. “Taking it one week at time” is the classic example. Though often maligned for being a cliché it is an indisputable fact that you do have to take football one week at a time. A pertinent adage in a similar vein is one that was a favourite of Mick Erwin: “Football is a week to week proposition, because you’re dealing with human beings and an oblong ball”. Never a truer word was spoken.

I certainly don’t mind some of the fundamental clichés that adorn the football vernacular. What I don’t like is hearing poor grammar from those employed to commentate on the game. Here are some of the most common you will here:

"He’s quite athletical”
No he’s quite athletic.

"He was lacks-a-daisical there”
He was lackadaisical actually, unless you mean he was short of an obscure bread of flower.

“He is beset upon by opponents”
You are either set upon by opponents or beset by opponents. You cannot be beset upon.

"You can be rest assured”
You will either rest assured - rest as in a good night’s rest - or the rest is assured - rest as in the part remaining. In the words of The Goodies “GET IT RIGHT”

"So it all goes well for the future”
NO! It AUGURSwell for the future. All will go well for the future but the word is augurs.

"He won’t kick long to a contest because he is weary of giving the ball up”
What they mean is he is cautious of giving the ball up, however weary means tired for fuxake. They don’t say be-weir they say be-WARE as in WARY! IT’S WARY Oh look it up

That’s it I’m off to the State Library to look haughtily at the uneducated masses and snort at even the slightests mispronunciation from even the youngest of children.