Can you believe the insult of Collingwood not starting favourites this Saturday at the MCG? Despite playing an interstate side they easily vanquished at the same venue just two weeks prior? Despite having also beaten them on their own dung heap earlier in the year? Despite finishing higher on the ladder than their opponents? The Pies are regarded as $2.05 outsiders to the Swans $1.77 favouritism. Pshaw I say!
Anyway I like it when the Woodsmen are the underdogs, which it appears they most certainly are - their $23 for the flag is the longest of any left in the race for September glory.
So here's the plan Pies fans:
We knock off Sydney (for the third time this season) on Saturday night with a reinvigorated Alan Didak helping himself to a goal picnic. The previous evening Port Adelaide lose to West Coast in a ring-a-ding-ding-last-man-standing-knock-em-down-drag-em-out-drag-em-back-in-again-stand-em-up-and-knock-em-down-again affair. The ensuing semi-final sees Collingwood travel to its home away from home in Adelaide to defeat a battle weary Port (the third time we defeat Port in a final) with a vintage display from the coming-into-match-fitness Nathan Buckley.
In the preliminary we face the Cats who, having summarily dismissed the Kangaroos in their only final to that point, have had a week off with all of Gee-long town telling them how good they are. We of course crack the cocky cats pressurising the preening pussies to the point of putridity with Sean Rusling giving a crippled Matt Egan the run around and kicking 6.23.
Next up is the Eagles at the home of football on football's biggest day (and various other clichés). The Weagles have, of course, played their last match in Perth which as we all know is a guarantee that you will lose the next week - that's what they did wrong in 2005! So the Pies win the Grand Final by 49 points with Nathan Buckley chaired triumphantly from the ground on the shoulders of dual Norm Smith Medallists Nick Maxwell and Scott Burns.
The orchestral music plays and Jennifer Hawkins finally comes to her senses and decides she has in fact been in love with me all this time. At the exact same time though so too do Jessica Alba and Princess Mary of Denmark. The three beauties decide who may have me by the only means that are both dignified and feasible - a nude jelly wrestle. After half an hour of this in front of an enraptured MCG crowd they decide they are all worthy of me (and horny as hell) so they propose a tryst with myself on the top floor of the Hilton involving the most erotic of four-ways.
After confirming that Nick Maxwell and Scott Burns do not require me to turn for them on this occasion I consent to the Hilton rendezvous and enter the penthouse suite with a smile so wide I have to walk through the door sideways. Three minutes later I head to the Lexus Centre for the premiership celebrations - which delay my swearing in as Prime Minister by a few weeks (this also delays my appointment of Cori to the pivotal Partying Down Portfolio).
***********************************************************
Now I can't see how the above could in any way be seen as anything but the most likely September scenario. Tell the people.
Anyway I like it when the Woodsmen are the underdogs, which it appears they most certainly are - their $23 for the flag is the longest of any left in the race for September glory.
So here's the plan Pies fans:
We knock off Sydney (for the third time this season) on Saturday night with a reinvigorated Alan Didak helping himself to a goal picnic. The previous evening Port Adelaide lose to West Coast in a ring-a-ding-ding-last-man-standing-knock-em-down-drag-em-out-drag-em-back-in-again-stand-em-up-and-knock-em-down-again affair. The ensuing semi-final sees Collingwood travel to its home away from home in Adelaide to defeat a battle weary Port (the third time we defeat Port in a final) with a vintage display from the coming-into-match-fitness Nathan Buckley.
In the preliminary we face the Cats who, having summarily dismissed the Kangaroos in their only final to that point, have had a week off with all of Gee-long town telling them how good they are. We of course crack the cocky cats pressurising the preening pussies to the point of putridity with Sean Rusling giving a crippled Matt Egan the run around and kicking 6.23.
Next up is the Eagles at the home of football on football's biggest day (and various other clichés). The Weagles have, of course, played their last match in Perth which as we all know is a guarantee that you will lose the next week - that's what they did wrong in 2005! So the Pies win the Grand Final by 49 points with Nathan Buckley chaired triumphantly from the ground on the shoulders of dual Norm Smith Medallists Nick Maxwell and Scott Burns.
The orchestral music plays and Jennifer Hawkins finally comes to her senses and decides she has in fact been in love with me all this time. At the exact same time though so too do Jessica Alba and Princess Mary of Denmark. The three beauties decide who may have me by the only means that are both dignified and feasible - a nude jelly wrestle. After half an hour of this in front of an enraptured MCG crowd they decide they are all worthy of me (and horny as hell) so they propose a tryst with myself on the top floor of the Hilton involving the most erotic of four-ways.
After confirming that Nick Maxwell and Scott Burns do not require me to turn for them on this occasion I consent to the Hilton rendezvous and enter the penthouse suite with a smile so wide I have to walk through the door sideways. Three minutes later I head to the Lexus Centre for the premiership celebrations - which delay my swearing in as Prime Minister by a few weeks (this also delays my appointment of Cori to the pivotal Partying Down Portfolio).
***********************************************************
Now I can't see how the above could in any way be seen as anything but the most likely September scenario. Tell the people.
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